Tuesday, July 13, 2010


CFW leaves me a phone message: "The Kittery Police called and said that they've received a report of a seagull at Fort Foster using an injury to get the sympathy of people on the beach. If you're able, will you go to Fort Foster to see if the gull needs assistance?" She's laughing. It's illegal for a gull to "use its injury" to garner food or affection from nearby humans? Is the bird letting one wing droop a bit while sighing softly "To fly or not to fly?" Is it throwing up on tots? Is it going into a dead faint right next to the cheese doodles?

I drive up to Fort Foster and ask the man at the gate if he knows anything about a deceitful gull.
"Yes," he says. "We had quite a few reports. A police officer responded to the call. As soon as that gull saw the officer, it flew away. The officer said he thought the gull was frightened off by his
uniform. We figured the gull was just sick or something."

"Maybe ate some bad fish?" I say, getting into the swing of things.

"Yes!" says the man at the gate. "That's just what we thought!"

But I'm left wondering just who calls the cops on a gull? And why does a police officer show up on the beach FOR A SEAGULL????

figure it out. . .


  1. Ahhh, ha, ha, ha! I'm sitting here splitting a gut! My mom was standing behind me and wanted to know what was so funny. I read it to her, and we are both giggling. What would the officer have done with the gull? Arrested it for loitering? Snicker.

    Okay, I wipe the tears from my eyes and say 'thank you!' for this wonderful story.

    Belly laugh.

  2. i love this.

    when i lived in duluth, we called them "winged rats" and sneered at the tourists, who thought they were cute and threw french fries at them.

    but they are very smart birds, and i wouldn't be a bit surprised if that one *was* (as so eloquently put it) a deceitful gull.

  3. They are my states bird and are protected in here in the state of Utah. If a police officer here was ever found to be bothering the sly bird he would be the one in trouble!
    LOL loved it